Does anyone tell you their opinion or their side of a story claiming it to be absolute truth?
… Or, make you responsible for their experience or well-being?
… tell you they feel ‘let down’ by you? abandoned? rejected? Or misunderstood?
… Or, ask you to give or do something without you feeling free to say ‘No’?
Do you submit and go along… but later, make them pay the price of your resentment?
…Or, do you rebel in direct or indirect (e.g. passive aggressive) ways?
How does it feel to receive this kind of communication?
Which of these patterns can you see in yourself?
Unfortunately, they’ve become so common, we barely notice them, but their impacts are strong, and can cause a lot of harm, even if not consciously acknowledged.
We’ve been conditioned to:
- evaluate and interpret what’s going on through our own personal lens, rather than make clear non-evaluative observations.
- disguise thoughts and stories as feelings (like ‘I feel betrayed’), rather than share the actual sensations and emotions within us, like heartache, sadness, or fear.
- mix up strategies with needs, and demands as requests…, so we might say ‘I really need you to meet me this evening’, rather than ‘I really need some support… would you be up for meeting me this evening or do you prefer I ask someone else?’
Can you imagine how connected we could be with each other if we could transform these harmful habits, and instead choose responses based on what’s really going on, inside and out?
This training offers exactly that; using key principles and practices from Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to help us stay grounded in the present moment, connect with what truly matters, and create conversations where everyone’s needs matter.
… and not by prescribing certain ways of talking, but by raising our awareness of our conditioning, integrating certain key principles and practicing alternative ways to focus our attention and intention, e.g. focusing on reality rather than story; on self-responsibility rather than victimhood and blame; on our vulnerable heart rather than our judging mind.
We journey together in an experiential exploration of these key differentiations of NVC, using individual and group processes, games, exercises, role-plays and meditations to integrate the teachings.
We’ll see how simple shifts in attention, intention and therefore language can lead to profound changes in our relationships—with ourselves and with others.
We Explore:
- Key questions: What’s alive in us? How can we truly take self-responsibility? How can we make life more wonderful?
- Observations vs. evaluations: Separate our evaluations from what actually happened, thus reducing defensiveness and conflict.
- What’s really alive in us: Distinguish our universal feelings and needs from thoughts, interpretations and strategies.
- Thoughts disguised as feelings: Recognize ‘faux feelings’ (like “I feel betrayed” or “unsupported”) and uncover the deeper needs and feelings behind them.
- Needs, strategies & requests: Understand their relationship and how this clarity can dissolve conflict.
- Self-connection: Various approaches, in particular ‘self-empathy’, and how we can dance it!
- Requests vs. demands: Make requests that give others a real choice, bringing connection instead of resistance.
You Can Gain:
- Choicefulness: Shift from unconscious reactions to conscious responses.
- Clarity & understanding: Identify what actually happened and what is truly alive in you and others, allowing you to build common ground and resolve conflicts.
- Authentic self-expression: Communicate what’s really going on inside you without blame, criticism or judgment.
- Self-empathy: Techniques to connect deeply with your own feelings and needs -the foundation for all healthy communication.
- Freedom & creativity: Know that every need has multiple strategies for being met, and you have the power to find them.
- Peace & connection: Practical skills to turn difficult conversations into opportunities for connection.
No previous experience required.
This is 1 day in a series of 8 independent, yet mutually supportive, training days.
To discover the others, as well as the ongoing learning and support group, and all the practical details, see here
